There was a moment in my career, just months before I retired from tennis, that changed everything. It was after a match that completely shattered me. I walked out of the court, and as soon as I stepped into the parking lot, I broke down—tears flooding my face, frustration overwhelming me. For the first time, I genuinely thought, “I can’t keep doing this.” It wasn’t just the loss that hurt; it was the weight of everything I’d been carrying. And I felt like quitting—not just tennis but everything that came with it.
I had been through injuries, highs, and lows, but this was different. Normally, no matter how tired I was or how burned out I felt, I pushed myself to practice. Discipline was my lifeline. But that day, I felt the sense of hopelessness like never before. I realized I was going through the motions with no real direction, and my confidence was at its lowest. The truth is, as athletes, we’ve all had moments where we joke about quitting or throwing it all away. But that day, I felt like I meant it. And that terrified me.
I wasn’t the kind of athlete people saw as lazy or someone who didn’t work hard. In fact, my coaches always encouraged me to rest when I needed it. But I had this relentless personality that pushed me to keep going. I often wondered: Can I even afford to rest? It felt selfish, like I was taking time away from my goals or from the sport that had given me so much. In reality, though, my body and mind were begging for a break. That’s when I realized something I hadn’t truly embraced before: rest isn’t a luxury. It’s essential, not just for performance, but for my mental and emotional well-being.
As athletes, we’re taught to push through discomfort. It’s drilled into us that we can’t afford to stop. But the truth is, you can’t really push through burnout. You can get better at performing while feeling burnt out, but eventually, it catches up. Burnout doesn’t just affect your mind—it impacts your body too. Stress and anxiety build up, and suddenly, you’re not just mentally tired—you’re physically at risk. I’ve learned that ignoring my body’s signals can lead to injury, and I’ve made that mistake before.
There was one pivotal moment in my career when I did something I never allowed myself to do: I took a two-day trip away from everything. It wasn’t about tennis, and it wasn’t about pushing myself—it was about reconnecting with myself as a human, not just an athlete. I remember feeling this strange, unexpected happiness. Sometimes, you need to step away from what consumes you to find clarity and balance.
In the world of professional sports, it’s easy to get consumed. You’re so wrapped up in the next match, the next goal, that you forget to ask if you’re actually enjoying the journey. Rest isn’t just about physical recovery—it’s about finding balance, joy, and a life outside of the grind.
Even now, as an ex-athlete, I still struggle with guilt when I take a rest day. I often feel like I’m wasting time, as if I should be working, always moving forward. But I’ve learned to schedule those moments for myself. When I freelance, I make it a point to carve out time to do whatever I want—whether it’s hanging out with friends, trying something new, or just doing nothing. It’s not a luxury. It’s a necessity.
Looking back, I realize the lesson I learned isn’t just about pushing through the tough moments. It’s about recognizing when you need to rest, to step back, and give yourself the permission to breathe. Rest doesn’t make you weak. It makes you human.